Bare Review

I spent a little less time gaming lately, gasp of shock, and a little more time watching some movies. Mostly because I have stuff to do and I can’t play while I do stuff so I might as well watch a movie. I caught this one on Netflix as I was scrolling through the recently released section and immediately recognized it as one of those movies that had a theater release as well as a VOD release. I didn’t get a chance to watch it on VOD because of some excessive gaming that I was doing, but I figured I might as well watch it now. It had to be worth the wait right? Keep reading to find out.

Bare tells the story of small town girl Sarah, played by Dianna Agron (mostly known for Glee), who is bored with her small town life. She does every stereo-typical thing that small town girls are supposed to do. She works at a “Walmart” type place, hangs out with her trashy friends who thinks their lives are so amazing, and has a family who thinks she should be doing more with herself. Sarah is tired of her oh so boring life and longs for something new and adventurous. This is where drug dealing lesbian Pepper comes in, played by Paz de la Huerta. Pepper is going to show Sarah what it’s really like to break away from her small town life and actually live. How do small town girls do this? They become strippers of course and embark in a lesbian relationship with the drug dealer who supplies the town’s strippers of drugs. Sarah does this without anyone’s knowledge that she’s living this double life until it all blows up in her face in this coming of age story.

So wow, this had to be the worst and I mean the absolute worst lesbian themed movie that I’ve ever seen. Yes, I’ve seen a lot and a lot of them are horrible but this one just takes the cake. This coming from someone who seen The Guest House. I have absolutely nothing nice to say about this movie at all nor do I have any constructive criticism for ways of how this movie could have been better. It was so bad that it was one of those movies that you wish you would have stopped mid-way through the movie but you keep it on just in case something amazing happens to make you change your mind. This was not that movie and I wish I would have just stopped halfway through because I would have missed absolutely nothing.

The acting wasn’t even a saving point for this movie because it was just as bad as the rest of the movie. For me, it’s the acting that makes the movies more believable and it really makes them come to life for me. This movie didn’t have any of that. The characters are just way out there and the acting was just plain bad. Another wow, because there is no way in hell that good acting or even decent characters would have made this movie redeemable or good in anyway. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a movie like this.

Overall I give this movie a 1 out of 5.

I swear if I could have given this movie a 0, I would have. Do not waste your time on this movie, it’s an absolute waste of time that I wouldn’t want anyone else to have to endure. If I had a time machine this is one of the things I would go back and tell myself not to watch that’s how horrible this movie was. Not only the story itself was horrible and way over done with the small town girl stuff, but the acting was just as horrible. If you’re looking for a good lesbian themed movie then I would say you’d be better off watching some of the classics which include Imagine Me & You or Kissing Jessica Stein.

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