I Never Finished…Retro City Rampage…Because

Retro City Rampage

I picked up this game for free during the holiday time of 2012. Still unemployed after 3 years, I was basically giving up all hope that I would ever find a job which was why I decided I would go back to school. Since it was winter break, I was trying to fit in as many games as possible because that’s what you do when you’re in your late 20’s at the time and have just re-started going to school to try to get a job. Anyway, Retro City Rampage was free and because it was the holiday time my friends were off doing what they did with their families. I never did finish this game though, keep reading to find out why.

Taking place in the great year of 1985, I say great year because it was the year I was born, you play as “The Player.” Very original. You’re a thug for hire and during a bank heist that goes wrong you find a mysterious telephone booth. This booth will fling you into the future where you’ll meet a rip off of Doc Brown who thinks that you’re a hero. You’ll have to help Doc fix his time traveling car in order to get back to 1985. This will get you in all kinds of trouble, plus it throws in a bunch of 80’s references just for good measure. So think, Back to the Future meets Grand Theft Auto.

I used to not really want to say this about games, but I’ve become more comfortable with it now especially when games are horrible so I’ll go ahead and say it. I hated this game. HATED IT. I thought it was the worst game I ever played as I couldn’t find anything that was at least redeeming about this game. I played for maybe half an hour trying to not only figure this game out but get around the city it throws you in before throwing in the towel because I just couldn’t anymore. Good thing I was still heavy into Mass Effect 3 MP at the time and I had much better things to do like work on my leaderboard standings.

As you can see from the picture above I was able to get 1 trophy out of 14. It’s the most common trophy in the game with a percentage of 96.16% of players getting this trophy and it’s the one for committing a crime and getting the police’s attention. To the 3.84% of players who did not get this trophy, how did you not get this? It’s basically the first thing you do in the game. Seriously. Anyway, all of the other trophies range from common to rare to ultra rare and are for things you have to do in the game as well as some stupid stuff thrown in there just to piss the player off.

Probability of this game getting played again…0 out of 5.

Did you read before where I said I hated this game? Yeah, that means that there is a 0% possibility that I will ever play this game again. Even if this was the last game on the face of the earth that I could play, I wouldn’t play it. That doesn’t mean that it’s currently not sitting on my system just for me to scowl at as I pass it by because it totally is.

Now it’s your turn. Were you one of the many people who were suckered into this game because it was free? Did you end up hating it like I did? Maybe you genuinely enjoyed it and thought it was a great game. Let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Now for next week, another game during the holiday time. This was a “I’m tired of being with my family and miss hanging out with you, so can you pick up this game for us to play” type of thing. This was when I was still buying games to please other people. Looking back I just shake my head for being so…stupid. Anyway I was pretty familiar with this game because I had spent a lot of quarters playing in my younger days and thought what the hell. Unfortunately, I never finished it and next week I’ll let you know why I never finished The Simpsons Arcade Game.


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