As many of you who follow me and this blog, you might already know that I haven’t been as active here as I usually am. I haven’t posted anything in over a week and I apologize for that. I take my blog writing very seriously because it’s one of the things in life that I truly enjoy doing and it’s helped me connect with so many of you that follow me. Which is why writing this blog is probably the hardest one that I’ve ever written.
I’ve written this blog for years and I realize that I’ve never really told anyone who I am. You know certain things about me like my love of video games, movies, TV shows, and conventions, but that’s about it. You might have picked up subtle hints of things about me like my name because it’s seen on various different autograph pictures that I’ve posted, my age because I talk about really old games sometimes and mention how it shows my age, where I live because I post about local conventions that I go to and sometimes hurricanes, and my sexuality because of my movie reviews and my love of BioWare romances. So, let me formally introduce myself to you after all these years. My name is Toni, I’m in my early 30’s, no girl ever tells her real age you know, I live in Florida, and I’m a lesbian. I also suffer from Generalized Anxiety and bouts of Depression.
My mental health is something that I don’t share with a lot of people because it’s at times embarrassing. People don’t understand why stupid things make me anxious or why I’m so depressed when it’s so nice outside. I don’t understand this stuff either which is why it’s so embarrassing for me. I don’t know why stupid little things make me so anxious to the point where I can’t function sometimes or why when the sun is outside shining all I want to do is stay in a dark room and lay down for hours on end. It’s also hard to find a doctor that doesn’t just want to pump you with a bunch of drugs so that you can be semi normal and just get out of their hair. I’m lucky to have finally found a doctor who wants to help and not just prescribe a cocktail of drugs to me that might or might not work.
This year has not been a kind one to me as my anxiety has worsened and the bouts of depression have become more frequent. This has a lot to do with the current state of my life that I’m not really comfortable talking about at the moment, but I’ve soldiered on though all of this. I’ve missed a few blogs here and there, I’ve even taken some time off to try and rejuvenate, but nothing seems to be working which is why it saddens me to say I’m going to have to step back from this blog for just a little while. I wish I didn’t have to and instead could take a step back from work, but as much as I hate it I need my job. I also need to work with my doctor who actually listens to me when I have a complaint and doesn’t just brush it off as anxiety and writes me a new prescription.
I don’t know how long this is going to take or how long I’m going to be away from this blog, but I will tell you that this isn’t goodbye. I will be back with my normal blogs letting you know about my weekly trophy struggles, why I never finished certain games, what I think of certain games and their DLC, along with my opinions on movies and TV shows. I’m also still going to be active on Twitter where I’ll be showing off my prized platinum trophies and my adventures at some upcoming conventions. I might also stream some games from time to time so make sure you’re following me on Twitch for that. I’ll also be posting some panels from the conventions that I go to so make sure to check out my YouTube channel from time to time to see that kind of stuff.
I want to thank every single person who has ever read my blog, took the time to follow it, and left a comment. From the bottom of my heart thank you, you don’t know how much all of it has meant to me. Interacting with all of you has been such a joy for so many years and I truly can’t wait until I’m able to do it again.